Hands up if you are familiar with the Stanford Marshmallow Test?
For those who haven’t, it’s one of the most significant psychology experiments ever conducted.
Researchers at Stanford University offered young children a simple choice: they could eat one marshmallow immediately, or they could wait until the researcher returned and receive two marshmallows.
The study became a famous exploration of delayed gratification and self-control.
The fascinating part wasn’t what happened in the room that day but, rather, what happened years later.
Researchers found that the children who were able to delay gratification were, on average, more likely to experience positive outcomes across a range of areas, including academic achievement, career success, health and social functioning.
From what I know about myself, there is absolutely no way I would have passed that test as a child … I would have eaten the one marshmallow at the first opportunity.
Yet, as I’ve progressed through life, I’ve realised that delayed gratification is not necessarily something you’re born with or without (fortunately). It’s something you can develop, like a muscle that strengthens the more you use it.
The ability to forego a short-term reward in pursuit of a larger, longer-term outcome has become one of the most valuable skills I’ve acquired. Not just financially; I’ve seen this principle play out in my relationships, too.
A decade ago, my wife moved to Melbourne while I remained in Brisbane. The short-term reality was difficult; geographic separation is hard on a relationship. But we both accepted the temporary discomfort because we believed in the long-term outcome.
Looking back, that willingness to endure short-term pain led me to the most incredible life partner I could imagine.
I’ve seen the same principle play out in my career.
There have been times where I’ve taken what looked like a sideways step, or even a backwards step, to position myself for greater opportunities in the future.
I moved away from practising law and effectively became an assistant to my uncle. On paper, it may have appeared to be a step backwards, but it actually provided access to experiences, knowledge and mentorship that proved far more valuable than the short-term status or income I sacrificed along the way.
Financially, I’ve been making a version of the marshmallow test decision for over a decade. Rather than maximising my lifestyle today, I’ve consistently directed 10% or more of my after-tax pay towards acquiring and funding property assets.
The rewards of which won’t be realised for years and, in some cases, decades!
Every additional dollar invested represented something I couldn’t spend immediately on holidays, clothes, entertainment or other short-term gratification.
In many ways, property investing is delayed gratification in its purest form.
You commit capital today, carry the costs, endure market cycles, and often see very little immediate reward. The benefit comes from allowing time, compounding growth, and patience to do their work.
It’s the ultimate example of choosing two marshmallows later instead of one marshmallow now.
Whether you’re trying to improve your finances, advance your career, build a stronger relationship, or improve your health, meaningful outcomes almost always require some form of delayed gratification.
The challenge is that delayed gratification isn’t the easiest option.
It usually looks like:
- Going to the gym when you’d rather stay on the couch.
- Saving money when you’d rather spend it.
- Studying when others are socialising.
- Investing in learning rather than elaborate holidays.
- Having difficult conversations that strengthen relationships rather than avoiding short-term discomfort.
The good news is that delayed gratification can be trained. Like any skill, it starts with small steps. For example, skip sugar for a day… then a week, then two weeks and so on.
Over time, you build confidence in your ability to tolerate short-term discomfort in pursuit of long-term rewards.
That’s ultimately the lesson I take from the Stanford Marshmallow Test.
Success – whether financial, professional, academic, relational, or physical – is about consistently choosing the second marshmallow.
The people who achieve extraordinary outcomes have mastered the art of sacrificing what they want now for what they want most.
What marshmallow can you forego today to get two tomorrow?
